Hell Ride

The one where I almost died and took my son with me….Take my advice. Don’t jump on a ride at the county fair just because there’s no line and you “think” it’s the bobsled ride that just goes round and round all harmless like.

I thought it would be harmless. I mean, how could they let Ryan on if it was that bad? But as soon as we got strapped in I started to realize that maybe this wasn’t the ride I thought it was. But it was too late. At first the ride started out all floaty and innocent. Ryan and I nervously sang out “diiiizzzzy wheeee!” as we sailed through the air.

Then, all of a sudden the ride stopped in mid-air and I heard the opening guitar chords to AC/DC’s Thunderstruck.

I said a really awful word because I immediately knew what was going to happen.

Speed, lot’s of it and backwards.

It might not have been so bad if we had been on a ride that wasn’t held together by coat hangers and super glue. Every turn sounded like the damn thing was falling apart. The music was blaring and all Ryan and I could do was scream and plead with each other to “not die.”

That’s me. White t-shirt, black visor, the word dumbass printed on her forehead. And there’s Ryan, clinging to me for dear life.

I had nightmares and woke up feeling like I had been in a car wreck.

Mom Of The Year!


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